laughter

"I love these little people; and it is not a slight thing when they, who are so fresh from God, love us." - Charles Dickens

The sound of your kid laughing is one of the best sounds ever.  I'm sure any parent would agree.  I love hearing Judah & Foxx laugh.  

They usually aren't laughing because they think something is funny.  They don't have much of a sense of humor yet. When we walk through their classroom door at daycare to pick them up, they spot us, and immediately start laughing and running toward us with open arms.  They laugh together while playing cars or cooking in their kitchen, or building towers with blocks.  They laugh when I tell them we're going out somewhere.

They laugh when they are happy or excited.  

When was the last time I laughed just because I was happy?  I am happy and content the majority of the time, yet I don't go around laughing everywhere.  But what if we did?  What if we laughed to show our  gladness and joy?  How awesome would the world sound?!

If seeing my kids so happy that they laugh makes me feel unbelievably overjoyed, think of how God must feel with us.  When was the last time we laughed or sang or smiled really big, just because we are happy that we are God's children?  The love that I have for Judah & Foxx is only a fraction of the love that God has for all of us.  I am trying to embrace this more.

I cried the other night when putting my boys to bed.  As I sat there singing a nightly lullaby to them, with their huge little smiles looking up at me, playing with my hair or each other's hands, I could not believe how blessed I am to have these 2 little guys.

I see God's love through my children every single day, and I am so dang thankful.

On Trying to Find Positives With Occasional Mandatory Insomnia.

It amazes me how much can be done on so little sleep.  When you become a parent, your children become the very center of your universe.  You will do anything to keep your kids safe, healthy and happy.  Some times this "anything" requires getting little sleep (as in 2 hours of sleep in a 48 hour period, having to work for 24 of those hours), and functioning in a zombie sort of state.  

The past few days have been pretty rough.  The boys had a 24 hour virus of some sort (Although it lasted more like 3 days).  Neither had fevers, and neither of them acted sick.  But they both had very liquid diarrhea, and Judah projectile vomited a few times.  Because of this, they were not allowed to go to daycare.  When the boys go to daycare is when I have to sleep before/after working night shift at the hospital.  These few days that they were sick, were a few days where I had to work 3 nights in a row.  the first day, Jeremy called out of work, and stayed home with him.  The next day after I got off of work, I had to stay awake with them, and then return to work again that night.  Luckily we got a last minute sitter to come over for a little while and I was able to get just a few hours of sleep.  Needless to say, coffee was the only thing that kept me going that night.  Then, the following day, I only got to sleep a few hours in the morning before Jeremy had to leave for work and I had to wake up and watch the boys again.

Being a parent is hard, and the little-to-no-sleep portion of it is just a small part that you have to figure out how to push through.  What really makes it all worth it though are the peaceful quiet moments.  As I was putting the boys down for their nap on one of my sleepless days, I realized that at that very moment, I wouldn't rather be doing anything else.  I sat in their room, dimly lit with a crack of sunshine coming through their bedroom window, rocking back and forth in the rocker.  Each of their little heads lay heavy on my chest.  I can feel their little breath blowing softly on my neck.  They talk to each other for a few minutes, and then each doze off.  Their breaths get deeper and slower as they drift off to sleep.  I can feel their chests rise and fall against my own.

 At another time, I might would say that I would rather be in my warm bed, asleep.  But at that moment, I didn't want to be anywhere else.  I didn't care about my bed, or how tired or exhausted I was, or how awful I felt.  All I cared about was freezing time in that moment, where both of my baby boys were sleeping peacefully in my arms.

  

A Whole Year, With Two Little Ones.

I know that every parent in the world always claims how fast the lives of their children fly by.  When you have children (especially for the first time), you never hear the end of it.  "Cherish this time, it goes by so quickly!" or "Don't they just grow up way too fast?!"  

Yes, yes, I know.  Enjoy them all the time cause it will go by fast and I can't get it back.  

 You really don't realize it until it's your kids' birthday(s) and you're looking back at the previous year, that all those annoying comments were 100% correct.  Life can sweep by you if you don't slow down and appreciate the little things.  

I remember that very first ultrasound when 2 little dancing figures popped up on that screen.  I remember watching my belly grow and grow, until I thought it couldn't grow anymore, constantly anxious and excited to meet my babies.  I remember the day I was told I'm going to meet my babies.  I remember hearing and seeing them for the very first time.  I remember our first few days and nights together, both in awe and gratefulness of what was happening.  

I don't feel like I'm guilty of not cherishing moments with my boys.  The first few months were quite a blur, but I can remember many things about their tiny little selves learning to live in our huge world.  Sleeping/waking/eating/pooping, it was sort of like we were all on autopilot for several months.  It was very, very challenging then, but I still remember the precious parts.

The way the boys would scoot closer together when we laid them down in their crib at night, even before they knew how to move around.  

The way their tiny little fingers grasped onto ours.  

The way their gassy half-smiles made us feel so special.  

The way they would just stare up at us, wide awake, while we tried to rock them to sleep at 3am.  

The way they would kick, always kicking, and get so excited underneath their mobiles in their crib and pack-and-play.  

The sound of their very first distinguishable laughs, after bath time.  

The way they payed so close attention when Jeremy read Dr. Seuss to them for the first time. 

The way they loved riding around in our carriers, and immediately fell asleep on our chests.  

The way they looked around in awe when we would take them hiking in the woods.

They way they would get a hilarious, surprised look on their face when you blew on them.

When they got old enough to roll and sit up, they were even more fun.  They started to get more interactive, laughing at appropriate times,  smiling at every new face, and loving every new thing that they got to discover.

The way they would just sit there and stare at you, until you looked at them and then they'd start cracking up laughing. 

The way they'd put each other's fingers in one another mouths, and babble on like they're having a conversation about what they're feeling.

The way they would either immediately fall asleep or make cute cooing noises in their car seat.  

The funny faces they made when trying solid foods for the first time.

Their first little snaggle-toothed grins.

The excitement and joy on their faces during bath time.

I remember them both coming into bed with us in the wee hours of the morning, and all 4 of us dozing back off together for a few more snoozes, all while snuggled together in a bed made for 2.

And now, quite possibly my favorite stage so far (is that bad, to have a favorite stage in my kids' lives?  Shouldn't I love every stage equally? Oh well.)

They are soooo much fun right now.  Their little attitudes and personalities are totally coming out, and they're very different from one another.

They love to scream and yell at each other, and seem to know exactly what the other one is saying.

They are just about walking, and both get so excited when they take a few good steps.  

The way they study everything so closely, trying to figure out how it works.

The way they get so excited when we enter a room.

The way they throw their arms up to be held whenever we pass by one of them.

The way they shovel food into their mouths while eating.

They sit with us at the dinner table, and we all eat together, a tradition I hope to continue throughout their childhood.

The way they say "mama" and "dada".

How they won't ever stop kicking while trying to change a diaper.

How they immediately stop whatever they are doing to pay attention to the "Big Bang Theory" theme song when it comes on TV.
The way they get so excited when they learn to do new things.

How they give us hugs, and open-mouthed kisses.

We have made it 1 whole year with these awesome kiddos, and while I do feel like it has gone by fast, I don't feel like I have not cherished my time with them.  I remember the important things, and I am excited for so many more fun times to come! 

  

      

Sweet Brothers

Judah and Foxx's personalities are really starting to show themselves now.  

A few days ago, one of those I'm so proud of my kid I almost want to cry moments happened.

Foxx was playing with a toy.  Judah grabbed the toy out of Foxx's hands.  Foxx started screaming.  Judah  looked at Foxx for a few seconds, handed the toy back to him, smiled and patted Foxx on the back.  Foxx smiled real big.

It was the cutest thing ever.

Sweet Brothers.

Can't wait for many more moments like this to come!