Thursday, October 27, 2011

A Day of Gloom

I'm pretty sure my boys can tell what the weather is outside, and are very unhappy about it when it's not nice and sunny.  I don't know if it's the barometric pressure that messes with them or what, but they seem to be extremely unhappy on rainy, gloomy days.  They've really only had a few days like this so far, and I'm pretty sure all those days have been dark and cloudy.

Today was one of those days.

On prior days like this, I've had somebody here with me.  Jeremy, a friend, or Jeremy's mom.  Well today, it was just me and the babies.  Not cool.

It's usually ok if I'm by myself for the majority of a day.  I've learned how to feed them at the same time, play with them both, hold them both (in carriers and in arms), put them down for naps at the same time, and rock them together.  All these things I have learned to do on my own, and I usually don't have too much trouble.  I mean, yeah it's rough to accomplish all those things on my own, but it's doable.  Most days I even get dinner made.

Today was a different story.  If they were not eating or being held/carried and walked around the house, they were screaming.  I couldn't just hold them and sit down or rock.  We had to be walking.  They fought sleep all day long, and when I finally did lay them down for naps, they slept for like 15-20 minutes and then woke up crying. They wouldn't sleep long enough to actually get good rest, so they woke up still tired, and therefore crazy fussy.  I barely had a chance to eat or pee all day long.

I know days like these don't happen that often, but man.  They are rough.  Days like these make me feel inadequate at times.  These are my babies.  I am their mom.  I should be able to soothe them and make them happy.  Those are thoughts that run through my head on days like these.  I know I shouldn't think those things, but sometimes, you just can't help it.  These are normal feelings right?  Maybe it's just amplified because I have 2 babies to keep happy?

And then one of them will smile or laugh for 3 seconds.  And it's all ok again.

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