Saturday, May 14, 2011

Is a mini-van knocking at our door?

This is the question that haunts my thoughts these days.  If you know anything about me, then you should know that I love cars.  Cars have become my vice over the last few years.  This bothers my mother, but the fact of the matter is that if I don't have something to take my mind away from the brokeness of the world I will surely fall into a deep depression.  This poses a problem, however, that has sprung up ever since we found out that we are having twins.  That problem is the mini-van.  You see, buying a mini-van would be the equivalent of rolling over and dying for me.  I love driving cars that are built well, can hug corners, and put a smile on my face.

A mini-van can do none of these things.  That are utilitarian vehicles with no character that focus on the things that people with children think they need.  I don't need a dvd player in my car, because this is a relatively new innovation for cars.  My parents and their parents didn't have this available but somehow managed to raise three healthy children, and so I'm sure we can do the same without it.  I don't need my seats to fold up under the floor because I'm not going to be transporting any inflated rafts in the back of the thing.  I don't need buttons that open the sliding doors for me, because I have muscles in my arms that allow them to move objects from side-to-side.

What I need is to have a vehicle that carries TWO children and all of the items needed to go shopping, on trips to grandparents, and to the park.  As far as I can tell, I can do all of that in my Jetta.  There will be a time, God willing, where we will have a third child.  The answer to that dilemma is either an SUV  (which is almost as bad as a mini-van), a station wagon with a third row (which Mercedes still make, but we could never afford the thing as they always break), or a classic VW Bus.

The VW Bus (or Samba as its called) is our dream family vehicle for a number of reasons.  The reasons we want it are mainly involving items that the mini-van lacks.  While the Samba wouldn't be especially fast or good in the corners, it would still be fun to drive because it is a classic and classics are almost always fun to drive.  Most importantly, it has character.

There is one problem with the Samba though.  The character seems to scream HIPPIES ON BOARD.  That is an issue because not only am I not a hippie, I really can't stand hippies or what they stand for.  (When I say the word "hippie" here, I am referring to the type of person that stands for free love, sex and drugs-not cool.  I am however ok with the term hippie when referred to the outdoor-loving, recycling and living with minimal luxuries type.)  The key to keeping this bus non-hippie is to keep the peace signs and flowers off of the body.  That will be increasingly hard throughout the years as Sarah will probably not be able to keep herself from plastering those items all over the bumper.  Still, I'd rather look like a hippie than dead inside.

And so, to all of you who are going to give us advice on how to raise our children.  Please, for the love of God, don't tell me that we will need a mini-van.  I really don't care how you feel about it, because I'm sure you aren't as impractical or stubborn as I am.  Just do this one thing.  Pray for Sarah, because she will be the one who has to deal with me fighting this to the death. (Whether that is literal or metaphorical)

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